So, I gave up coffee yesterday. I know, dumb move. But it was giving me anxiety and making my heart do funny things, so you know, I thought it was best to part ways with it for a while.
But I do miss it.
You know what I won't miss though? This damn caffeine withdrawal headache!
I'm excited to be working on my next coloring book - (working title: Positively Snarky) - but this headache is being an utter bitch.
So, I think I will complain about stupid phrases that people say to deal with the pain.
Here you go, with commentary:
Ridiculously stupid phrase #1: “It’s raining cats and dogs.”
Really? So you’re telling me in one damn thunderstorm suddenly there’s no need for the ASPCA?
Ridiculously stupid phrase #2: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”
Seriously, how rude! Last time I checked my bush was critter-free.
Ridiculously stupid phrase #3: "The proof is in the pudding."
Where's the pudding? Because suddenly I'm damn hungry. And what proof is it? 80?
Ridiculously stupid phrase #4: "She's a dead ringer."
Um, what?! Do I need to call the police on your ass?
Ridiculously stupid phrase #5: "I'm gonna bust your chops."
You better not get near my chops buddy. Those are primed and fresh for my date tonight.
Phew, I feel a little better. Stupid things we say with silly commentary. Excellent.
Now I'm ready to get back to the drawing board.
So far I have 20+ new pages ready for the book, stay tuned!
The picture you're seeing here is a snapshot of part of my desk.
Whenever I'm working on a new book I print out the pages and start laying them out. I look at them, figure out what needs to be edited, and what should be scrapped.
Trust me, there are at least as many rejects as there are illustrations that make it to the books!
I like to call the ones that don't make it the 'crap heap'.
But if you love coloring journals, fear not, I've got more in the works.
When will this book be released? I don't know yet. Likely the end of May or some time in June.
Until then, I'll keep creating it. And try to come up with a name for the book. That's kind of important. Maybe I should hold a naming contest...hmmm...what a good idea!
Anyway, let me know what you think of the pages so far in the comments.
I suddenly realized if I could turn my snarky sarcasm into a paying job, I could be employed forever.
So now I call myself a creative.
Basically, I give a sh*t in my imagination.
It’s quintessentially the day drinking job of my dreams. It’s like driving the bus one way to karma town. Hell, piss me off once and anyone can board the bus!
My swear jar has become a swear barrel, full of monkeys and other shenanigans.
So the moral of the story friends is that you can be anything you want to be, that’s how delusions work.
Now, what’s a nice girl like me doing without a drink In her hand anyway?
Surely it must be five o’clock somewhere,
So, tell me, what would you like to talk about? If you could whisper in my ear (you're so naughty!) and tell me what you want to hear me talk about, what would it be?
This sugar and snark, piss and vinegar, puppies and rainbows Mistress of Irreverence wants to know.
Man, what is wrong with me today? I’ve got a bad case of ‘woke up on the wrong side of the bed’. Blech.
So, what’s a girl to do when feeling so blue? Well, if you’re me, you put on some tunes, pour a glass of bubbly, and you get to work on your snarky gratitude coloring journal. Yep, true story. That’s what I’m doing today.